Date: 07/10/2023
Mood:HURTING :(
Listening to: Set It Off, Against Me!, Lemon Demon
OOUGHUUGUHH...
OK. LOTS TO TALK ABOUT. WE NEED TO TALK.
1. it's been a hot second. i haven't made a blog in like 1 week. i have been focused on other things like:
2. MY PHONE FUCKING BROKE. I BROKE MY FUCKING PHONE. i crouched down to look into my fridge & it fell out of my pocket. like it does EVERY time i do that. & i picked it up, like usual, & went to turn it on to check on it, LIKE USUAL. it does this literally every day because every day i crouch down & look into my fridge. AND IT WOULDN'T TURN ON. ok well. it WORKED. i was able to use my screen reader to see, but th eissue was it was entirely black. like you couldn't see. I did that THE DAY AFTER LASTS BLOG POST. HEAD IN HANDS.
so i haven't had a phone in over a week. which is WHATEVER, you know, I have a laptop. My insurance is being a complete bitch though bcuz i guess my mom did something when she set up my phone & now its being mean. but, again, i have a laptop i can use! everything's fine ...
PLOT TWIST. 3: I SPILT TEA ON MY LAPTOP. i spilt tea on my laptop like Thursday. i was trying to pay attention to my cousin when he was showing me something and I knocked over my cup of tea an dit spilt all over my keyboard but the thing is i didn't know there was like. A Thing you were uspposed to do when you do that. I've never done that before bcuz i USUALLY dont bring my laptop anywhere with me, it always stays in my room. because. i have a phone. but i dont have a phone anymore. so i had to bring it down because i didnt want to just stare at a wall. so after like 10 mintues of ti working ok after i wiped it down, it started fucking up. whcih makes sense, ur supposed to like... unplug it and turn it off and puit it on a towel upside down. whatever.
So. 4: I had to use my old laptop. The one that is broken (i broke the keyboard & its super slow & old & it has to stay plugged in 24/7 or else it iwll immediately die.) & that one. is. lame. i had no phone... no GOOD laptop. (ok well the new laptop also sucks its slow & has like 0 space even though NOTHING IS ON THERE...) . i dropped my phone & spilt tea on my laptop. what's next??? am i going to trip & break my arms and legs & entir ebody & blow up my house?? WHO KNOWS! NOT ME !!!
i take off the keys of my old laptop & clean them. whatever. i turn it on...
5: IT WORKS. im on it rn. THANK GOD. the keyboard is... all fucked BUT i have a plug in keyboard that im using. so its ok! i can use it! ... oh hey its about to die, maybe ill just plug it in-
6: I SOME HOW BROKE. MY CHARGER?? FOR THE LAPTOP? DONT ASK ME HOW I LITERALLY DONT FUCKIGN KNOW. thankfully, the charger for my old laptop works for this one. we're saved.
7: still no phone. my insurance fucking sucks.
8: i have been in awful pain for the past like. 4 days. my thighs are so sore?? for some reason & its hard to walk. & my left shoulder has been hurting so fuckin gbad its hurting righ tnow & i might cry bcuz its awful pain help. my biceps have also been sore i dont know. everything sucks im in pain whatever.
9: as of writing this i have just started my period life is hell.
10: i watched stray for the first time!!! like, the game. i cant play games im disabled so i watched jacksepticeye's playthrough. I don't actually like jack because... hes still friends w/ mr. neo-nazi (pewdiepie). but what were we expecting from white men? i wasn't originally going to watch stray because i have trouble with animal death & injury & i heard theres parasites & i am a schizophrenic little guy, but i was fine! & it was good!! i love robots & cats.
11: I also watched Somerville. its very fun i liked how beautiful the game is :) ot 2 many thoughts bcuz im in pain. my back is now hurting.
12:i got some work done on my autistic logan essay (mentioned in my wips section on my writing page). i also started outlining for a sanders sides video essay. hypothetically. idk if ill actually make it but i am planning on writing the script. that might be as far as i get.
13: i want to recode my entire. website. i want it to be more of a point & click game? not ALL of it but like. itll have a map & u interact with Stingray (me!) who tells you about The Graveyard & then you click something & it takes you to the rest of the website. Like how my "interests" page is where the rest of the website is. the organisation is just confusing an di want to fix it by making my website cool . so ive been planning that out & writing a lot.
i am going to take pain medication now. im hurting so bad oh my god i also feel like im going to vomit. for some reason??? Also i have a caffeine addiction & we got a cool coffee maker so ive just. been dirnkign coffee & monster energy. & i just looked it up "Feeling achy and flu-like with muscle pain or back pain, or having an upset stomach are also common caffeine withdrawal symptoms, although they may go less noticed and less frequently reported." WHAT THE HELL. the issue is thats also just my Normal symptoms.
I have IBS & POTS & CFS/ME. like. not having caffeine hurts me & then having caffeine ALSO hurts me. im in hell.
I am taking medication & laying down & mayb ewatching something or sleeping. maybe ill eat something. & maybe make coffee sorry i need to break my habit but its very hard.