HERE LIES ...

OK. LOTS TO TALK ABOUT. WE NEED TO TALK.

1. it's been a hot second. i haven't made a blog in like 1 week. i have been focused on other things like:

2. MY PHONE FUCKING BROKE. I BROKE MY FUCKING PHONE. i crouched down to look into my fridge & it fell out of my pocket. like it does EVERY time i do that. & i picked it up, like usual, & went to turn it on to check on it, LIKE USUAL. it does this literally every day because every day i crouch down & look into my fridge. AND IT WOULDN'T TURN ON. ok well. it WORKED. i was able to use my screen reader to see, but th eissue was it was entirely black. like you couldn't see. I did that THE DAY AFTER LASTS BLOG POST. HEAD IN HANDS.

so i haven't had a phone in over a week. which is WHATEVER, you know, I have a laptop. My insurance is being a complete bitch though bcuz i guess my mom did something when she set up my phone & now its being mean. but, again, i have a laptop i can use! everything's fine ...

PLOT TWIST. 3: I SPILT TEA ON MY LAPTOP. i spilt tea on my laptop like Thursday. i was trying to pay attention to my cousin when he was showing me something and I knocked over my cup of tea an dit spilt all over my keyboard but the thing is i didn't know there was like. A Thing you were uspposed to do when you do that. I've never done that before bcuz i USUALLY dont bring my laptop anywhere with me, it always stays in my room. because. i have a phone. but i dont have a phone anymore. so i had to bring it down because i didnt want to just stare at a wall. so after like 10 mintues of ti working ok after i wiped it down, it started fucking up. whcih makes sense, ur supposed to like... unplug it and turn it off and puit it on a towel upside down. whatever.

So. 4: I had to use my old laptop. The one that is broken (i broke the keyboard & its super slow & old & it has to stay plugged in 24/7 or else it iwll immediately die.) & that one. is. lame. i had no phone... no GOOD laptop. (ok well the new laptop also sucks its slow & has like 0 space even though NOTHING IS ON THERE...) . i dropped my phone & spilt tea on my laptop. what's next??? am i going to trip & break my arms and legs & entir ebody & blow up my house?? WHO KNOWS! NOT ME !!!

i take off the keys of my old laptop & clean them. whatever. i turn it on...

5: IT WORKS. im on it rn. THANK GOD. the keyboard is... all fucked BUT i have a plug in keyboard that im using. so its ok! i can use it! ... oh hey its about to die, maybe ill just plug it in-

6: I SOME HOW BROKE. MY CHARGER?? FOR THE LAPTOP? DONT ASK ME HOW I LITERALLY DONT FUCKIGN KNOW. thankfully, the charger for my old laptop works for this one. we're saved.

7: still no phone. my insurance fucking sucks.

8: i have been in awful pain for the past like. 4 days. my thighs are so sore?? for some reason & its hard to walk. & my left shoulder has been hurting so fuckin gbad its hurting righ tnow & i might cry bcuz its awful pain help. my biceps have also been sore i dont know. everything sucks im in pain whatever.

9: as of writing this i have just started my period life is hell.

10: i watched stray for the first time!!! like, the game. i cant play games im disabled so i watched jacksepticeye's playthrough. I don't actually like jack because... hes still friends w/ mr. neo-nazi (pewdiepie). but what were we expecting from white men? i wasn't originally going to watch stray because i have trouble with animal death & injury & i heard theres parasites & i am a schizophrenic little guy, but i was fine! & it was good!! i love robots & cats.

11: I also watched Somerville. its very fun i liked how beautiful the game is :) ot 2 many thoughts bcuz im in pain. my back is now hurting.

12:i got some work done on my autistic logan essay (mentioned in my wips section on my writing page). i also started outlining for a sanders sides video essay. hypothetically. idk if ill actually make it but i am planning on writing the script. that might be as far as i get.

13: i want to recode my entire. website. i want it to be more of a point & click game? not ALL of it but like. itll have a map & u interact with Stingray (me!) who tells you about The Graveyard & then you click something & it takes you to the rest of the website. Like how my "interests" page is where the rest of the website is. the organisation is just confusing an di want to fix it by making my website cool . so ive been planning that out & writing a lot.

i am going to take pain medication now. im hurting so bad oh my god i also feel like im going to vomit. for some reason??? Also i have a caffeine addiction & we got a cool coffee maker so ive just. been dirnkign coffee & monster energy. & i just looked it up "Feeling achy and flu-like with muscle pain or back pain, or having an upset stomach are also common caffeine withdrawal symptoms, although they may go less noticed and less frequently reported." WHAT THE HELL. the issue is thats also just my Normal symptoms.

I have IBS & POTS & CFS/ME. like. not having caffeine hurts me & then having caffeine ALSO hurts me. im in hell.

I am taking medication & laying down & mayb ewatching something or sleeping. maybe ill eat something. & maybe make coffee sorry i need to break my habit but its very hard.

i dont know what 2 talk about. i started my long gone legends shrine & its very fun so far but takes up. so much time bcuz im coding it from scratch. um. i fixed the fonts on this page (YIPPEE) & i want to remake the entirety of the interests page i have a better layout 4 it. i am so tired which i feel like is how i star && end all of my blogs. i added a visitor counter to the home page &. it. um. counts every refresh i think so. i tend to do A LOT of refreshing when I code . i had more to talk about but i 4got literally all of it i need to start writing it down b4 hand or something. ANYWAYYY i am going 2 make tea & either read or watch a video essay :3 or continue my sasi rewatch.

WOAH hai it has been a HOT SECOND since I made a blog entry LOL

I'm very sleepy right now. ive been avoiding making a blog juz bcuz i know it was going 2 use up a lot of my energy && ive been focuzed on trying 2 draw (which... i have not started still). i think(?) lots of things have happened but my memory is really bad i dont know.

I am so scared to start my shrines because i want them to be GOOD but what happens if theyre not good. that'd be really embarrassing. im still new 2 coding im worried ill make the worse shrine evr && evry1 will laugh at me. um. i made mai art page :3 it looks good now somewhat & i enjoy seeing all my art laid out liek that it makes me proud bcuz wow i am SO talented. My next art piece is going to be a redraw of a 2020 redraw of a 2016 drawing (aka my first digital drawing on firealpaca). im exited for it but i had some issues coming up w/ ideas since the oc is... very ... boring. im excited 2 shoew it tho x3. ummzz ya. i had a lot more i wanted 2 say but my brain is NAWT werking rn.

i rlly want 2 work on my analoceit au "to the tune of your death", which i mite do 2mrrw? or .um. i dont know. its hard juggling everything i want 2 do when im plagued by a chronic illness. (spoonie moment). i wan 2 code & draw & write & dance & read & watch video essayz but i end up doing None of them & stare at a wall it sux.

my best friend dani came over on sunday & spent da nite !!! we had sew much fun, i made him make a neocities (@ st4rsh4ped) && we playd minecraft & human fall flat & it waz fun & silly !!!111!1 also we learned that i talk in my sleep & he snores. apparently i talked abt tv & breakfast LAWLZ. we were supposed 2 go thrifting but he waz wiff hiz BOYFRIEND. UNTIL 3 AM & THEN STAYED UP UNTIL 6 AM. & THEN BY THE TIEM WE HAD 2 HANG OUT HE WAZ SLEEPING !!!1!11!! -_- nawt upset at all butz it waz very terrifying bcuz i am autistic LAWLZ XD

i want 2 ummz work on formatting all my pagez 4 mobile & thenn umm.... i want 2 redo sum of da text on da home & abt pagez i think. im alzo trying 2 make a sitemap but apparently itz the most boring thing ever & i havent started. i also wan 2 add sum secret pagez but i dont know.... wat. of? juz. anything? whatevr? i dont know. i want moar silly things so maybe ill go thru moar neocities 4 sum inspo :3

ummz... iz dat everything i dun kno. im sew tired . oh my god firewalker with me by the garages just came up & im going 2 start crying over blaseballa gain i miss it so bad i really wish it didnt have 2 end. im crying . rest in violence. oh god ok.

OH MY GOD I WANTED 2 SHOW MY MONSTERHIGH DOLLS ok that should be done onnn interests page im just unsure where it would go? rn all my stuff is on the front page i have no idea where stuff would go. i also want to do a page abt my pets! (and maybe a page abt my past pets, like my two rats John & Roman. i miss them a lot). im very sensitive righ tnow i think i dont know why. um. i also want to add like... wind blowing noises to the entrance page. i should be writing this all down i kind of forgot 2 do that. also i want to fix the playlists on my blog & home pages, bcuz it transfers 2 Every page which.. isnt what i want. I wanted one playlist for my home & about & then oneplaylist 4 my blog.

im vry motivatied 2 write but its abt 2 b 1 am & i need 2 stawp staying up sew late but i wan 2 write so bad so now im in a weird state of wanting to do something but knowing i shouldnt.

i feel like super bad i think i used up a lot of my spoons hanging out with dani or something but ive been so dizzy lately & brain foggighs

sometimes i wonder if im dying.

this post will be written in 3rd person w/ titles, for fun reasons & also delusional reasons.

ONCE AGAIN... IT IS 1 AM. 'HE WHO SLEEPS' HAS GOT TO STOP SAYING UP SO LATE CODING.

also it feels very weird to type normally & not in scene speak

ANYWAY, 'The Graveyard Dweller' made a writing section :3 it's very ugly & the colours r kind of all over the place & also no writing is... On There, but don't worry about it.

Stingray is very happy about eyes blog... eye has said that a lot but is TRUE... eye wants to code forever. um. well maybe not forever, 'He Who Burns' also hates coding also pup keeps coding for HOURS. AND PUP IS DISABLED SO IT'S AWFUL FOR PUPS BODY... whatever stingray is SILLY

Tomorrow, xy has the day off :) xy really needs to not... code every single day, it's taking up a lot of xyr time & xy feel like maybe xy's doing it... "too much". Obviously, it makes 'The Barker' very happy to code, but thon can't do it all of the time, it hurts. Thon is chronically ill thon doesn't know why thon acts as if et Totally Will Not Hurt Thon Later -_-. Stingray has had AWFUL back pain since syringe started to code also is pup just... repeating pupself. Stingray thinks ze has already said this. cys head is kind of fuzzy & foggy right now bcuz of... the coding. The Illness. and the sleepyness.

Next up on the list is fixing the writing page, adding Stingray's writing, and then adding the interest page. 'The One of Demolition' kind of skipped over that and went straight to the writing page. 'The Nightcrawler' has 0 layout or theme ideas for the interest page, but ae just uses Repth's themes like... all of the time apparently (they have GOOD ASS THEMES DUDE).

Stingray has also ignored any sort of hygiene for the sake of coding. epic hyperfocus moment (sarcasm).

today was also very boring. once again... 'He Who Craves Brains' has a very boring life. kind of sad when you think about it, but thats what chronic illness does !!! make everything SUCK.

ok. Stingray will sleep now. very tired. brain hurts. easier to type small. -_- zzz (thats eepy face)

ITZ 1 PM ON DA SAEM DAY!!1!1!!

I added MOOSIC 2 diz paeg neow im BASZICALLY WINNING i tryed mai best 2 piq out GUD songz butz it waz haerd bcuz i immediately 4gawt evry single song in existance -_-

On TUESDAI im hanging out wiff mai FRIEND sydney she iz SEW kewl & supr emo (truzt meh !!!1!) she caem ovr a few weekz ago & we maed kandi braceletz butz she had 2 leav early && i juzz kept her stuffz :P

i haev a BUNCH of othr frendz i need 2 hang out wiff 2 but evry1 iz buzy all of da tiem && our schedulz barely match up itz sew sad Dx butz we will survive. im currently taeking a gap yr b4 colleg bcuz ewogouhgugrhgh X_X colleg maekz meh scared. i dun kno howz im going 2 survive taeking care of 3 children & going 2 colleg i barely survived HIGH SKOOL !!!1!!1!! :T mai fathur & mom say nawt 2 worry but dey barely believe im disabled i doubt dey fully understand any of mai experiencezz

&& in a vry emo way, i dun think any1 understandz meh xP i can only rlly count on my bestie VIC 2 undrstand meh since tail iz also disabled butz udder dan dat i dun tink mozt ppl undrstand mai experiencez. i dun tink itz 2 big of a deal doe, ppl can treat meh w/ rezpect w/o knoeing evry single of mai experiencez && feelingz & emotionz.

Unsure wat exactly 2 code next. i haev a lawt of ideazz && planz but trying 2 do dem in sum sort of ordr iz... 2 much effort LAWLZ XDDDD

mayeb ill add a countdown 2 babyklok next !!1!! im a lil nervouz abt starting any shrinez incaze theyr nawt gud enough Dx i wan it 2 b GUD !!1!!

i alzoo wan 2 maek a section 4 mai writing & poetry seww ill figur out wat layout 2 do dat 4 . i wuld do art but. dat meanz i hav 2 liek. go get photoz & datz sew much effort im tired XD

OK UNTIL NEXT TIEM !!1!!!

it iz currently 1:43 AM. ive bn editing thiz page 4 liek 2 HRZ!!!11! -_-;; i am sewww vry sleepy.

im rlly enjoying coding evn if it getzz sew annoying && tediouz @ tiemz !!! im LUVING how mai webzite iz turning out && i cant wait 2 maek it evn bttr. evrytime i try 2 do umn && succeed i am OVERWHELMINGLY stimmy & happie !!!11!! ^_^ i hav seww many tingz i wan 2 add && sew many pagez, mai mind iz FULL of ideazz rn...

also scrolling thru da neocitiez browzing section iz also sew stimmy. :D i luv how AWESUMSAUCE ppl maek their webzitez && i hoep mai webzite becumz 1 of those webzitez!!!!11!!

SUMM tingz I'm hoeping 2 add r:

• shrinez (i wan a sanderz sidez centric 1 & a logan sandrz centric one & an emo/scene one)
• a section 4 mai art (doe i also wan 2 make anothr neocitiez 4 mai art, liek a porfolio)
• a countdown 2 concertz im going 2 (liek da BABYKLOK TOUR !!!) or moviez (LIEK DA BARBIE MOVIE && FNAF MOVIE)
• a visitor countr
• a writing section (both 2 showcase mai writing & alzo 2 showcase & talk abt wipz!!1!!)
• a page 4 selfshipping
• a page 4 kinning
• a site map

i hav evn MOAR ideaz but thoze r da 1z frum da top of mai head. :3 xD I also need 2 change da fontz here & on da hoem pagez butzzz dat meanz i hav 2 LOOK 4 fontz && ummmz.... datz a lawt of WERK.

i've cn ppl hav diffrnt layoutz 4 each page && i wan 2 do dat 2 !!!11! i hav seww many ideaz & i hoep mai webzite bcumz da coolest or watevrrr :P

i rlly need 2 fix mai sleep schedule Dx i keep staying up SUPR late bcuz im CODING !!!1!

i dun hav much 2 add here in regardz 2 personal lief. i took care of mai siblingz 2day (err... well yesterdai technically LAWLZ). i haev mondai off doe :3 sew evn MOAR tiem 2 CODE!!!1 ummzzz ya i think datz it. mai laif iz SEW boring all i do iz stay in mai room all day coding or watch my siblingz 4 liek 10 hrz.

i kno my dad doeznt wan meh 2 move out butz i cant wait 2. i need 2 get out of here.